Why is it So Hard For Me to Make Decisions?

When you’ve experienced emotional and psychological abuse, decision-making can feel impossible. Let’s talk about it.

Why is it so Hard to Make Decisions?

When the abuser creates a climate where there is literally NO right choice:

  • Whether you’re cleaning the kitchen, sitting on the couch reading, or walking the dog - he’ll be upset…

  • Whether you make lasagna, stew, or chicken salad sandwiches for dinner, he’ll be upset…

  • Whether you make big plans for the weekend, make no plans for the weekend, or make a list of different options for the weekend, he’ll be upset…

It feels safer to go into “freeze” mode and simply avoid all decision-making all together.

Emotional Abuse Victims Respond to Abusers Like This:

Because of the fear of upsetting the abuser by ANY definite preferences, decisions, or steps forward (and remember - this is the climate that the ABUSER created), victim-survivors often respond to the abuser from that place of freeze with phrases like this:

Victims of Emotional Abuse often Freeze Rather than Make Decisions
  • Whatever you think is best.

  • I have no preferences about it - you decide.

  • I don’t really know anything about that. 

  • I don’t know.

  • I don’t care.

  • It’s up to you.

  • You know better.

Holistic Healing From Narcissistic Abuse & Decision Paralysis

Boundaries, support and understanding abusive tactics help

When you’ve experienced the demeaning, manipulative nature of a narcissistic individual for years, decades, or longer, it can feel like that strong part of you that once had preferences and the ability to make decisions with confidence is just gone.

But that’s just not true. You CAN find your confidence and power again.

With boundaries, support, a strong understanding of abusive tactics, and self-care, it is absolutely possible to come back to yourself. 

I believe in you.

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The Truth About Walking on Eggshells

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Am I Clumsy or Is My Husband Abusive?