Am I Clumsy or Is My Husband Abusive?
Identifying physical violence is often harder than it seems.
Intimate Partner Violence Isn’t Always Cut-And-Dry
The media often portrays intimate partner violence as a very on-the-nose, easy-to-identify dynamic. In fact, in this community, many folks experience covert domestic violence for years before identifying it as physical abuse.
What Is Covert Physical Violence?
Some abusers want to maintain their “good guy” image while simultaneously physically hurting their partner - so they use covert physical violence.
In other words, they don’t do anything that could get them arrested, or make neighbors, friends, or members of their church community raise their eyebrows or report them to law enforcement. They stay just below that line.
Instead, they bruise, batter, and intimate the victim by physical acts of violence that they lable as “playing”, “accidents”, the victim’s fault for being clumsy, romance, or even subconscious acts committed in their sleep.
I Think I’m a Victim of Covert Physical Abuse - What Now?
If you’ve experienced or feel you may be experiencing covert physical violence, please seek support. It’s so easy to blame ourselves for covert violence - in fact, abusers make it nearly impossible not to blame ourselves for some aspect of it.