“I’m a Second-class Citizen in My Own Home - Is This Abuse?”
When your spouse or partner treats you “less than,” it can be easy to internalize the treatment. But it’s essential to understand that this treatment is abuse.
One of the spokes of The Duluth Power and Control Wheel (www.theduluthmodel.org) includes “Using Male Privilege,” defined as:
Treating her like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Acting like the “master of the castle”
Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles
While I absolutely understand that domestic violence is a global issue, affecting all genders, ages, races, etc., it’s important to understand that male entitlement, or male privilege, drives domestic violence in gendered violence against women.
Using Male Privilege IS Domestic Violence
When it’s simply assumed that you, as the woman, are primarily responsible for caretaking (this includes physical, emotional, domestic, and sexual caretaking), domestic violence is happening.
Recognizing misogyny, benevolent patriarchy (raising you up on a pedestal but still expecting you to caretake), and the subsequent harmful effects on victims and families is really important. It helps you to establish that no matter how normalized male privilege is in families, church cultures, and various traditions across the globe, it simply isn’t okay.