Gaslighting is Emotionally & Psychologically Abusive
Gaslighting is no game. At least not for the victim/survivor.
This insidious form of manipulation results in a less certain recipient. The victim comes to question their memory, their perception, their intuition, and their reality. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and lack of motivation. Over extended periods of time, the victim comes to lean on the perpetrator for grounding in truth; but in reality, the perpetrator’s “truth” is a false narrative that is also damaging.
What Does Gaslighting Look Like?
Gaslighting includes straight up lying, minimizing feelings or discrediting feelings altogether, and really subtle manipulations of the truth or reality of a situation. Has your abuser said things like this to you?
You’re ridiculously sensitive. No one else would have felt that way.
That didn’t happen. Somehow you’ve conjured it up in your head to explain away your own bad actions.
You did [action] because you think [something you’ve never even dreamed of thinking].
Everything has to be your way or the highway.
You Can Recognize and Stay Safe from Gaslighting
If statements like these have been said to you, you’re being gaslit. What can you do?
Self care that takes you away from the abuser (go for a solo run; enjoy a hobby of your own; coffee date with friends).
Document, document, document. Write down what happened, what was said, how it made you feel, and what you know/knew before it all happened.
Find support. Surround yourself with people who “get it.” Share, out loud, what happened, what was said, and what the truth is.
Above all, do not blame yourself for being caught in the abuser’s trap of gaslighting. They are good at what they do … that has nothing to do with you. And know this: you can break free!
Please pop into my free support group or schedule a one-on-one to process the gaslighting going on in your life. Once you get practiced in identifying and escaping gaslighting, it becomes second nature and you can then move forward in truth.
xo
Denalee